Imagine sitting in a boardroom waiting for a meeting to begin when an attendee calls to say, “I don’t want you to see me today, so I’m going join the meeting from a phone in the hallway.”

This would NEVER happen, and yet every day we struggle to get attendees to show their faces on video calls.

Most of us miss the days when we could engage face-to-face with each other in the hallway, lunchroom or meeting space, and yet, it seems like there is a reluctance to turn on our camera to see each other’s faces.

There are several reasons people don’t turn on their camera. Perhaps they do not like seeing themselves on camera, their hair or makeup isn’t done, or their workspace is a mess.  I venture to guess the biggest reason is because attendees want to multi-task. Let’s face it, multi-tasking is a lot easier to do when you know you can’t be seen.

Either way, when you can’t see each other’s eyes, you can’t make the connection needed to be truly influential in every interaction.

To increase your influence, get your meeting attendees to give you their undivided attention by asking one of these three questions:

1. “I’d love to see you today. Are you able to turn on your camera?”

This is a great question to ask coworkers, peers and others you once could frequently see in person. It is hard for attendees to say ‘no’ to this request, and it will boost the friendly dialogue you once had working together in the office.

2. “To ensure you receive the most from this meeting, would you please turn on your camera?”

This question is a great way to ask existing clients and employees to show their shining faces. Encouraging them to turn on their cameras will maximize engagement, helping everyone focus so details aren’t missed. It also helps you read reactions and evaluate how to move conversations forward.

3. “Would you turn on your camera so I can more easily help you?”

Conversations with prospects can be challenging enough without having to stare at a blank screen. Let your prospects know you are excited to help them and seeing their face will help you do just that. This will maximize engagement and help you navigate the conversation more easily. If asking this question feels uncomfortable, set the expectation when initially schedule the meeting.

Virtual meetings are a part of our new normal and learning to maximize our influence in this new reality is critical to our success. Ask these three questions to get your listeners to turn on their cameras so you can turn up your influence.

Check out our Research on Influence in conjunction with the University of Northern Colorado HERE.

Influence Research

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Drop me a note to share the action steps you will commit to this month to make sure you’re NOT just listening but ACTIVELY listening.  Tag me on my Facebook page.

If you missed one of Stacey’s previous blogs or tips, visit her online.

This week’s blog is an excerpt from Stacey’s new book, Influence Redefined … Be the Leader You Were Meant to Be, Monday to Monday®.  If you’re interested in learning more, contact her at stacey@staceyhankeinc.com

Download our free Ebook – Social Media Can Affect Your Credibility: Avoid These 5 Risks

What Achievers Read:

Attention Pays by Neen James

The post 3 Steps to Actively Listen to Increase Your Influence first appeared on Stacey Hanke, Inc..

In a time of worldwide challenges, political outbursts and uncertainty, it’s more important now than ever to stop, take a breath and influence others through kindness. It really is quite simple. The energy that goes into the opposite response of kindness takes more work and the results can create a downward spiral of emotions leading to negative results.

Life will continue to throw challenges our way. Individuals who are truly influential successfully get through these ups and downs by being kind. Wouldn’t you rather have a reputation that communicates kindness than anger, negativity and lack of respect?

Here are 5 back-to-the-basics steps to keep you focused on being kind:

1. Stop, take a breath and pay attention to what is REALLY important. Think before you react. Your reactions determine your outcomes. Taking a moment to think through the results of your behavior and response will help you make the right decision rather than regretting it later.

2. Take time for yourself. When the pressure gets heavy, take a moment to be by yourself. Go for a walk, sit alone in a private space and start breathing. I observed a brain scientist present her research on the power of meditation last month. She stated that only 11 minutes a week of meditation will significantly reduce stress, increase productivity and positively impact the brain’s capacity.

3. Clean house. Take a close look this week at the people, things, places in your life that are causing you stress or anger. These are the triggers that will distract you and cause you to stray from being kind consistently. Then start deleting. We are whom we hang out with. Misery loves company. Clean house by getting rid of the people, places or things in your life that distract you from staying on track with what is important: being kind.

4. Listen. We have forgotten this powerful act of kindness. You can’t better serve others if you’re not listening to what is important to them. Rather than focusing on what you want and the task you need to complete, immerse yourself in the words and behaviors of whom you’re talking to 100 percent. Listening rather than constantly talking is a powerful act of kindness.

5. Hit Play. I’ve shared the following song in a previous blog several months ago. When life’s challenges spark your hot buttons that create stress, anger or other negative emotions, simply hit “play” and listen to “Humble and Kind” by Tim McGraw.

Drop me a note to share how you’ve gone out of your way to be kind, increasing your influence with others. Tag me on my Facebook page.

If you missed one of Stacey’s previous blogs or tips, visit her online.

Enjoy a complimentary chapter of my new book “Influence Redefined” – click here:  

What Achievers Listen To:

Dan Buettner on the Happiness Blue Zones

The post ’Tis the Season to Be Kind! 5 Steps to Growing Your Influence Through Kindness first appeared on Stacey Hanke, Inc..

Do you find yourself competing with technical gadgets? When you and your message are not interesting or when you’re not directly connecting with your audience, you in effect give your listeners “permission” to check their devices. If people are texting, checking email or otherwise involved with their electronic devices while you’re talking, it’s a sure sign that they are disengaged. If your listeners aren’t engaged, they won’t hear your message; and if they don’t hear your message, the chances of you influencing them to take action are slim.

Your natural response to this situation might be to:

• Ignore the behavior, assuming it is part of the culture;
• Talk faster and louder, hoping the change will draw listeners’ attention back to you (yet in reality causing them to become even more disengaged);
• Call out the offenders, making everyone feel like they are back in grade school.

For Influence Monday to Monday ®:

1. Pause. The silence will grab the offenders’ attention and bring it back to you and your message.
2. Look individuals in the eye. When speaking, look directly at an individual for a complete sentence or thought, something most presenters don’t do. Your audience will immediately sense that you are connecting with them. They also will be less likely to get sucked into their technical gadgets when they know you will catch them not paying attention.
3. Take control. State at the beginning with confidence, “In order to honor everyone’s time and receive the value you expect from our time together, please close and silence your phones, tablets and laptops. This will also allow us to end on time.”
4. Be interesting. Boring communicators don’t grab and keep the attention of their listeners. Listeners zone out when you read from your slides, especially when they are filled to capacity with charts, graphs and unreadable fonts. No one wants to be read to. Make a real connection with your listeners by communicating with passion and authenticity.

Drop me a note to share how you’re going to increase engagement by influencing your listeners to get off their electronic gadgets. Tag me on my Facebook page.

This week’s blog is an excerpt from Stacey’s new book Influence Redefined … Be the Leader You Were Meant to Be, Monday to Monday®.  

If you’re interested in learning more, contact her at stacey@staceyhankeinc.com

If you missed one of Stacey’s previous blogs or tips, visit her online.

What Achievers Read

 Get Better: 15 Proven Practices to Build Effective Relationships at Work by Todd Davis

The post You May Not Be as Influential as You Think You Are If… first appeared on Stacey Hanke, Inc..

1. Turn on your webcam. We live in a world of advanced technology, so let’s use it. When you and your listeners can see each other, the biggest challenge of not knowing what is happening on the other end disappears. Everyone moans and groans when I make this recommendation because they don’t like to be seen. Really? People see you every day! If you’re really serious about the influence you want to have Monday to Monday,® turn on your webcam this week for at least five conversations.

2. Ask the right questions. The best way to increase interaction is by asking open-ended questions. “Do you have any questions?” won’t encourage interaction. Create the reputation of being engaging and interesting. Individuals will begin to show up for your virtual conversations ready to interact rather than thinking they can catch up on email during your calls.

3. Call them out. Maybe not literally. Rather, use your listeners’ names. “Michael, what has been your experience with our client ‘X’?” Everyone else on the call will sit up and take notice of your interactive style.

4. Get organized. Always have an agenda and distribute the agenda at least 24 hours before the call. At the beginning of the call, explain the purpose of the call and your expectations, your role, the participants’ roles and what needs to be accomplished. Explain to participants: “To make this call efficient and to respect your time, we’ll need your participation. I want to make sure everyone is clear on his or her individual action steps moving forward. Therefore, I’ll be asking questions throughout the call for everyone to answer.” In order to reach results and to make sure you’re on track as the facilitator, everyone needs to participate.

5. Respect your listeners. Start and end on time. When you go beyond the scheduled time frame, you communicate to participants that their time is not valuable.

Drop me a note to share the action steps you will commit to this week to create an interactive, interesting and impactful environment while leading virtual conversations. Tag me on my Facebook page.

If you missed one of Stacey’s previous blogs or tips, visit her online.

Click Here to Receive our 5 Steps to Raise your Influence

What Achievers Listen to:

Brian Tracy on Building Confidence – http://www.success.com/podcast/brian-tracy-on-building-confidence

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Take a look at sports, politics or religion, where unbecoming conduct is widespread. Participants often dwell in a gray area between truth and fiction, taking a “do as I say but not what I do” approach where questionable behavior crosses the fine line between what is acceptable and unacceptable, or even legal. What people say – along with their inconsistent behavior – makes us question who they are and what actions they will take when we see them again.

Think about the last 30 days.  Is there an example that comes to mind of a vendor, client or team member who was guilty of unbecoming conduct?  They behaved in a way that made you question their behavior and whether their poor conduct influenced you in a negative way.

Avoid giving your listeners a chance to question your behavior by taking action:

• Today ask someone you can trust what your behaviors and reputation communicate.
• During every interaction this week, focus on what your behaviors communicate. Focus beyond the words you speak.  Is your body language consistent with your message?
• Identify three behaviors you are willing to enhance over the next 30 days. Create three action steps you will commit to for 30 days.

Influence Monday to Monday® will not occur when your conduct is unbecoming!

Drop me a note to share the steps you took this week to ensure your conduct isn’t unbecoming  or tag me on my Facebook page.

If you missed one of Stacey’s previous blogs or tips, visit her online.

Click Here to Receive our Top Tips for Speaking with Influence!

What Achievers Read

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol S. Dweck

The post The Opposite of Influence – Unbecoming Conduct first appeared on Stacey Hanke, Inc..